Too good. Video of a 4-year-old watching the part of Empire Strikes Back where it’s revealed that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father. This redeems the whole series for me.
This is why I love movies.
Doodle Bugs,
Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written. I’ve been pretty busy here in sunny CA, screen testing for movies and hanging out with movie stars and in James Franco’s butt. It’s so amazing out here that I may never come home.
J/K, I probably totally will one day…though, I gotta be honest, you guys don’t really seem to miss me.
Thetans,
After your bitter betrayal last weekend, I sought solace in a higher power, and I’ve found it. Xenu has welcomed me into his open arms, and I will no longer be a part of the volcano of stress that is the Lambdas. I wish you all the best in this world, but I have to work on myself. I must audit, cleanse, and become clear so that I will have eternal life. I hope to someday return to you and pass on all of the things that I have learned.
—
Fondly,
Percy
Jerks,
I’ve been waiting by this van all night for you. What happened? I missed the entire wedding! Is it true you replaced me with someone new and shiny? I’m so upset I can’t even make a reference to being put in your butts.
—
Angry,
Percy
Beanie Babies,
I’m taking a quick trip to the gym, then I’ll meet you at the van so we can ride over to the wedding together, okay?
I am so excited for this wedding!!! It’s going to be AMAZING! I’m gonna be in so many butts tonight!! Get ready!!
—
Fondly,
Percy
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